STORIES OF CONVERTS

Published with Consent: A letter of a sister who accepted Ahmadiyyat a couple of years ago – wrote of her experience and story to Huzoor-e-Anwar. This letter is being published for the purpose of uplifting the spirits of the readers- and to inspire others along the way.

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LETTER DATED: 17th October

Dearest and Most Beloved Huzoor,

I am writing with great joy and happiness to inform you that my mother, siblings and I took Bai’at at Jalsa Salana UK 2013, and Alhamdulillah joined the folds of Ahmadiyyat. Our journey to Ahmadiyyat was a long and hard one, and even now, as I write this letter to you, our journey as new Ahmadis is still somewhat difficult.

It all began nearly four years ago, when I had started Sixth Form to study my A-levels. That was the first time I had come into contact with Ahmadis in over ten years, and I was incredibly curious to say the least. Coming from a Sunni background and having heard from many that Ahmadis are not Muslim, I felt in my heart that I could not agree with such notions until I understood what and Ahmadi was and what they believed in.

As you can imagine, my mother was not so impressed by my sudden interest in a ‘new religion’, she then encouraged me to try and prove my friends wrong in their belief through debate and discussion. As a very open-minded person this was a great opportunity for me to gain more knowledge and even extend my own knowledge. I was excited and ready to prove the Sunnah Jama’at right but that never came to pass.

After months of talking and learning and trying to understand Ahmadiyyat while trying to proving it wrong, I sought out a scholar in America, by the name of Farhan Khan. I invited him to make conversation with a Murabbi related to the Shah family. They sent e-mails back and forth to one another but after some time I found myself unimpressed with the counter arguments taken by Farhan Sahib. He seemed unable to answer the questions I posed, and once I found out he was a member of a group that run the anti-Ahmadi website ‘The Cult’, I stopped correspondence with him immediately.

Beloved Huzoor, I felt like I was back where I had started, but Alhamdulillah Allah the Almighty continued guiding me. As time passed, by my nineteenth birthday I understood the beliefs of Ahmadiyyat and after many more discussions and countless episodes of ‘Faith Matters’ I found that I no longer agreed with the teachings of the Sunnah Jama’at. I could no longer proclaim that Isa AS would descend from the heavens on the backs of Angels as the Messiah to the world without feeling like a liar.

I did not know what to do at all. I remember crying on my Janamaz in Sajdah, begging Allah to help me and to guide me and if Ahmadiyyat was wrong or right, to show me so explicitly that I would have no choice but to recognise the truth. I felt so helpless; here was a Jama’at that was calling to me so strongly and yet they were known as non-Muslims. I felt so conflicted and torn I decided to leave the subject of Ahmadiyyat alone for a while, but no more than two weeks later was I again crying to our Creator, asking Him what I should do.

Eventually I plucked up the courage to start debating with my mother. At first she humoured me, but as things progressed she realised I was defending Ahmadiyyat more and more. It wasn’t until I forced her watch two episodes of ‘Faith Matters’ that her faith in the Sunnah Jama’at wavered. We continued talking, watching and discussing things until I showed her a recording of the International Bai’at. Seeing your face Huzoor, with Alhamdulillah so much Noor on it; seeing the unity and the strength in Deen , as well as the brotherhood within Ahmadiyyat brought tears to my mother’s eyes and as she watched, she uttered words I will never forget. She said ‘I want to convert.’ My whole being was filled with ecstasy and a joy I have never known before. It was a clear turning point.

Once my mother was sure she agreed with Ahmadiyyat we both decided we should buy some of Hadhrat Masih Mau’ud AS’s books as well as other Jama’at books. I purchased ‘Jesus In India’, ‘The Philosophy of The Teachings of Islam’ and ‘Revelations Rationality Knowledge and Truth’. We began reading them, with my mother reading aloud as myself, my sisters and brother sat and listened. It was absolutely unbelievable. I was in such awe of the truth that even to this day I feel like I have missed out on so much and had been almost lied to since childhood. As a family, our understanding of Islam and Ahmadiyyat grew and gained even more depth. Even whilst writing this letter to you our beloved Huzoor, I am still awestruck that we have a Khalifa, and that I am making contact with such a glorious person, May Allah strengthen your hand always.

By 2013 we had all decided we wanted to convert, and on my twentieth birthday, my mother reached out to her family to tell them of Ahmadiyyat, but the reaction was terrible, and much worse than we thought. Rather than being open minded about everything, our family threatened to disown us and refused to listen. I was gravely disappointed, because even though my father does not agree with Ahmadiyyat, he has not stopped us in any way. Insha’Allah he will one day see the truth and join us.

After terrible backlash from family had died down somewhat, I was afraid that my mother was going to say we should forget about Ahmadiyyat completely, but I was wrong, and in thinking that, I underestimated her Iman and may Allah forgive me for that. She decided that to avoid being disowned and due to the lack of will to listen on my family’s part, we must keep everything a secret. Including our wish to convert. She came to this conclusion whilst reading the Holy Qur’An. I was sat with her and watched as she closed it and looked upwards and asked Allah to give her a sign. When she then opened the Holy Qur’An once again, the verse on the page that our eyes were immediately drawn to spoke of keeping things a secret to avoid hardship. Whether it was a coincidence or not, I felt like Allah gave my mother that instruction there and then.

A month later, my parents, siblings and I visited Germany for a short family holiday. Whilst there, the most incredible thing took place. I dreamt of our Holy Prophet and Founder of Islam, Hadhrat Muhammad SAW. But I did not only see him, I also saw you, our beloved Khalifa. In my dream Rasoolullah SAW was stood amongst people on a pavement. It was clearly London, and yet, while he was stood so majestic and tall, with the most brilliant white light and Noor shining down on him, making his Sharwani all the more blinding white, the people around him looked black. Black as if they had been dipped in the deepest parts of Jahanam. I recognised one girl as a girl from my secondary school- whom with I have had no contact since those times. She is a girl who always wanted to prove Ahmadiyyat as false, and here in my dream she was denying Muhammad SAW as being the Holy Prophet. All these people that looked so burnt were denying him, saying he is not who he says he is. I went up to our Prophet SAW and asked him who he was. He replied saying he was the Prophet SAW and yet in my confusion I continued to ask, for which I am somewhat embarrassed by. He smile at me and confirmed he was who he stated he was, and when my eyes glanced upon the gap between his teeth I knew it truly was Muhammad SAW. His hair was silver in colour and shoulder length and, and seemed to have had oil in it, as it looked wet, but not wet with water. His face was shining, and his whole body was glowing so brilliantly I was awestruck. He looked elderly but so serious and strong. Somehow I managed to tell him that I knew where to take him, and taking him by the hand I had led him to Baitul Futuh. I came to you in your office and told you what had occurred and you, beloved Huzoor, in turn went to him and in what seemed like seconds, you took his right hand in yours and touched your forehead to it. Suddenly I felt hands on my shoulders and I saw people putting their hands on your shoulders. In a moment very quick thinking I took Muhammad SAW’s left hand in mine as I then realised the entire Jama’at Ahmadiyya was taking Bai’at with the Holy Prophet SAW.

After witnessing that dream, I felt like Allah had confirmed everything for me, one thousand percent. I had no doubt whatsoever and after that dream I could not wait to officially become Ahmadi.

The most amazing thing about all of this is also that when my mother was expecting my sister Aiysha, she also dreamt of Muhammad SAW, in which she also saw A’isha RA and many other peoples, and my Aiysha herself at the age of six dreamt of our Holy Prophet SAW in which he taught her how to perform Salah. I had always been slightly jealous of those facts as a child but Alhamdulillah I can say that I too have seen our great and glorious Founder of Islam SAW.

In fact, even my youngest sister has had certain dreams that I think are beautiful. She is eleven years old, and often tells us all of her dreams. Her most recent dream was of ____________-  a young man currently attending Jamia Ahmadiyya UK. In her dream he lead her in Salatul Fajr and then proceeded to ask her to read from the Holy Qur’An and then translate it into English. Among her other dreams she has seen Hadhrat Masih Mau’ud AS on a huge platform calling people around him to Islam and Ahmadiyyat, in others she has been talking to you or merely in your company.

As the year of 2013 progressed, we were introduced to many more people, and even to this day we keep in contact with the family that has helped us convert to Ahmadiyyat. The _________ family has come to be extremely good friends of my family, and they have taught us and helped us a lot. In fact, in August 2013, we were their guests for Jalsa Salana, and for our first ever Jalsa, it was so lovely to be surrounded by such good decent people, may Allah shower them in His Barakah, Insha’Allah. Through them we have met many other people, and to be in their company when the international Bai’at took place.

When Bai’at itself began, my sisters, mother and I were overcome with emotion. Sat amongst friends I remember gripping their hands whilst repeating your words. Hearing your voice so loud and clear as you read out the conditions of Bai’at, my heart was hammering against my ribcage and tears were streaming down my face. It was the most amazing, terrifyingly beautiful, and surreal experience of my life. As the words were engraved in all our hearts, I remember feeling the sense of relief, and as we all went into Sajdah my heart felt like it was going to explode with emotion. Crying in Sajdah with thousands of people that I was now inextricably linked to, is something that I will cherish until my last breath.

Oh my beloved Khalifa, Ahmadiyyat has come to mean more to me than anything else. Everything I do now is to hold up the name of Muslims and Ahmadis and I try so hard to be a good example, and be everything you wish an Ahmadi is. I find it so hard to keep everything a secret. It is the worst feeling, to feel like you are lying to your family about who and what you are, as well as hiding half of your life. I humbly ask you to please make du’a for my family, that they open their hearts, minds and eyes to the true beauty of Islam and to what Ahmadiyyat offers the world. Huzoor, please pray for my nanojaan, her name is __________ and she resides in the town of Halifax, in the north of England. If she converts, Huzoor, the whole family will convert. She is the matriarch of the family and I assure you if she does convert and become Ahmadi, everyone else will slowly but surely follow. Please beloved Huzoor, please make du’a that they see the truth in Ahmadiyyat, because I honestly don’t know what will happen once they find out. I have faith in Allah that they will convert, but your added du’a would mean so much to us.

Beloved Huzoor I ask that you kindly remember us all in your prayers Insha’Allah

Yours sincerely,